Will "it" (ME) get better?

Well, its been a very slow process. I am trying to take BC's advice and just "do it", regardless of whether I want to or not. But it isn't easy. Staying in bed is just too familiar and comfortable for me right now. So again, I wasted most of the weekend here, in bed, surrounded by my laptop, cigs, Red Bull (for energy?), and the remote control. And I hate myself once again. For having no motivation whatsoever. And dozing on and off throughout the past two days has finally taken its toll. So here I am, 4:22am, wide awake. Ugh!

So tell me.....is this fucking medication working or isn't it???? ANYONE? Because there are moments when I start to feel a wee-tiny bit "normal", but those moments are just too fleeting to believe I will eventually feel normal for longer periods of time than I will like this, depressed and aching. And I am sure part of the aches are related to the depression. But the fact that I haven't moved my fat ass out of this bed in 2 days CANNOT help my body feel good, now can it.

I hate me today....... And the day has just begun. Lord, help me!!

SubMom