A response to a readers comment:

As I read bottlecappie’s last comment to me, I thought to myself, “She is so right!” I wasn’t this “bad” when we first met. Well, after considering her comment for a few more days (I looooove to dwell, as other addicts will attest to), I realized that she was correct in saying I seem worse now than when I first found her blog.

You see, I found bottlecappie one day while Googling “Suboxone”. I always Googled the word Suboxone. For the past few years, any “hits” on Google came from sites that were either drug forums or news articles for or against the drug. I did find a few blogs, but nothing worth staying on top of. It was usually from someone who was attempting to blog about their experiences with Sub’s or their addictions alone. But no real “meat and potato” type blogs. You know the kind…..where someone is writing from their heart, their soul, and try to relay their pain, anxieties, fears. The kind of people who share their triumphs as well as their blessings. The kind of blogger that you think you can trust.

Oh, I know that the internet is full of liars and cheats. I know that people can get lured into dysfunctional relationships, and can be conned out of their money and their marriages.

But when you find a poster who shares with their readers their true feelings, if you have anything at all in common with them, and you can relate, you begin trusting their writings much sooner than later. I mean, who would write about being an addict, or being on Suboxone, if they weren’t truly feeling or doing those things. Trust me, non-drug addicts have NO IDEA what Suboxone even is, unless they are dealing with a relationship with an addict who is on Sub’s or getting off of them.


A big plus was that she began blogging from the onset of treatment with SUBOXONE!! That was a big hook for me. But if you don’t believe me, see for yourself. Just head on over to bottlecappie’s blog “Diary of a Quitter” and see for yourself! http://bottlecappie.wordpress.com/feed/

Now, that being said, I can also pretty much assume that bottlecappie and I will never plan for a rendezvous, “just to meet face to face”. I don’t need to see her face to understand her feelings, pain, triumphs or fears. I know them. I live them……

But I began to think to myself, I probably was this depressed when I ventured onto her blog. But you see, she was very new to Suboxone. So I didn’t allow my true lunacy to show. Not because I wanted to “lure” her into my web of deceit. But because I didn’t want to sound like someone who tried to Suboxone, got off the pills, yet still dealt with depression. I wanted to give her the courage, and encouragement to keep going with her treatments. I wanted to be positive, uplifting and somehow convince her that Sub’s were not going to be her worst nightmare. I wanted her believe that she could/would get better…… In doing so, I couldn’t very well go and comment on her blog that I also recovered from pills with Sub’s and now I am just a depressed mess of a nutjob. I needed her to keep positive, to keep forging ahead with her treatments……

So to bottlecappie, I apologize if I was less honest with my feelings. But one thing is definitely true my cyber friend ~~~~ my life IS much better without the oxy’s and with the help of Sub’s. You should have met me before to see the difference! LMAO! My comments on oxy’s or trying to get off of them without Suboxone would have had you running for the hills, trust me at least with that much! ;0)

And without cappie and a chick named "D" that I'd rather not link you to, my life has been much much better, believe it or not. MY blogging and YOUR comments, along with others, keep me going. Sometimes I actually sit there and say, if I could just get to my laptop and blog this insanity, I know I'll feel much better. And I usually do.....

On a lighter note ladies, I'm going to try this again. Just see how much my "times viewed" goes up! Last time I did this labeling, my views rose at least a few hundred!! So, to the pervert Googler's out there, these are for you: