A new start.....again.
No, not because of relapse of drugs/alcohol. Not because of depression. But because it hit me today that I enjoy to write here. To put my thoughts down in writing, where I can express every emotion without worrying about how someone else may take my mood(s).
Here is where I feel, well, carefree.
But the BEST part of being here, writing here, is that when I am finished with a post, I ALWAYS feel better. Always.
I remember years ago, when harboring a resentment against someone I was sure was put on this earth only to aggravate me, my sponsor used to tell me to pray for that person. Of course, my usual response was something on the lines of, "Oh, I can pray for them all right! I can pray they run over by the first Mack truck that comes near them!".
When the thoughts of praying for a person seemed to be too much for me, she would suggest I write the ghost letter. Ya know, a nasty-gram to that person, getting out all of my frustrations without having to edit my language or hostility. Then I was NOT to send it. That was the part I never quite understood. Until I realized after writing my zillionth letter that I felt so much better when done with my poison penning.
But my main reason for writing again is because the holidays are upon us. And I do not do well with holidays. So far, so good. So instead of waiting for the doom to hit, I have decided to take a more productive approach and try and head off the depression. Not so much for me, but for my kids. They deserve to have all of me this year. Pray for me, and for them.
Lord, please allow my children to see the wonderful, spontaneous, loving, caring and giving mother that I know I can be.