Two Good Days In A Row!!! Yipppeeeee!

Knock on wood, I have been productive for almost 48 hours! Not counting my sleeping which has also been kinda "normal". Tim works nights, so I haven't truly slept thru the night since early 2002. I doze off and on throughout the night. But as soon as I hear his car pull into the driveway, I used to be OUT LIKE A LIGHT. So much so that I would never stay awake long enough to greet him as he was walking thru the door. Just knowing the car pulled in was enough to know he was safe.

Since my eldest received his driver's license, of course my weekends with Tim off from work have also been shot to hell. I have to admit though, my son is (so far) a very responsible person. He certainly has 10 times more common sense than I ever had at his age.

I always instilled in him that as long as he was honest with me, I would always have his back. No matter what. Period. I also reiterate the consequences of lying to me. Just as I learned. The hard way. Lying only gave people a reason to not trust me. Once that trust is lost, it is so difficult to get back. And besides always being questioned regarding my whereabouts, I was mostly frustrated by the fact that I could never seem to regain that trust. The frustration that comes with people never believing you can certainly do a number on the mind. But looking back, my parents ALWAYS had a reason to distrust me. ALWAYS.

Between the ages of 14 and 20 I probably lied everyday to my parents. Who I was with, where I was going, what I was going to do. Fact is, I probably used the "we're going bowling" excuse over a thousand times in those days. However, I never seen the inside of a bowling alley until I was about 24.

My favorite saying to him, and the young girls I work with is this:

"Let me be your crystal ball"...........

The majority of people I work with are under the age of 25. Their constant dramas and sagas regarding the men (boys) in their lives is sometimes humorus. Because I see me in them. Insecure, and unnerved by their boyfriends actions. If I have said it once I have said it a million times, MEN ARE IMMATURE!!! Their maturity level does not peak until........ (I usually drift off the sentence at this point because I haven't met a truly mature man yet). Well, I take that back. I haven't been with one yet. I'm sure they are out there. But I doubt very much any of them are under the age of 24.

Well, enough rambling for today. Just wanted to post my gratitude regarding my 2 good days and my very wonderful son. Because I know as sure as the sun will come up tomorrow, I WILL have a series of bad days eventually. I am hoping that by writing this, I can reread later and reaffirm my faith in my meds, and my no so bad life. Cuz I tell ya, some days I honestly think I have the worst life ever......

SubMom