I have no real friends......

I'm so sad today, upon the realization that I have no friends...... I have a few people I talk to every now and then. And one that comes over once in a while with her case of beer or Twisted Teas. We hang out and talk all night. But nothing really deep, just superficial surface stuff. We work together, so conversation usually revolves around work people or our significant others. They were boyhood/teenage/actively using friends their whole lives.

But Tim spends the majority of his time at his parents these days. His Dad was diagnosed with lung cancer in December of 2006. Bless his soul, he's still with us. But he has reached the end of his journey here...... They stopped all treatments this past November.

Okay, here comes the really selfish part now........ the part of myself I H-A-T-E. I am very resentful of all the time he spends there. NOT becuz of his Dad. His Dad spends most of his time in a Scotch and cigarette stupor. Yep, still drinking and smoking 3 packs a day. Hardcore.

It's his helpless, manipulative, needy, clingy mother that is driving me insane.

For instance, here are a few examples of why he jumps up and runs over there:

1. The garbage cans were still on the curb.

The garbage cans have been on the curb for three days now. But she needs Tim right NOW to come and drag them 10 feet to the side of the house.

PS: No, she is NOT handicapped.

2. She needs the desk moved, "when you have a minute".

The fucking desk has been in that spot for 40 years. And nothing ever takes a MINUTE when he goes there.

3. She needs a curtain rod hung.

THAT window has NEVER had a curtain on it.

Okay, lame examples of why she calls him over. But here are my examples of what flips me out.

Tim tells me, as he's huffing and puffing over the cell telephone, that he's cleaning. Now trust me, the house has NEVER been cleaned in the 8 years we have been together.

Tim calls to let me know he'll be home soon, however, he still has a load of clothes in the dryer that he needs to wait for so he can fold them. (NOT HIS CLOTHES, MIND YOU)

He spent two days over a weekend raking leaves. Why? Because his mother went out a purchased one of those gi-normous snow-globes that people inflate and display proudly on their front lawns.

Question: Why would someone purchase something when they themselves CANNOT put it up? Knowing that their spouse cannot do it, because he's dying in the bedroom? Oh, btw, the leaves have never been raked, grass has never been cut, E-V-E-R!

She called one Sunday to let Tim know that she didn't go see his Dad that day in the hospital becuz there was no one to "shovel" her out. If she had bothered to get up and look out the window, the 2 inches of snow that fell overnight melted by noon.

So today, he left at around noon and returned at 5:00. I was just getting out of the shower. We started talking about nothing and then he informs me that he has to go back to his parents "later on" becuz his father has been sleeping all day and his mother is nervous. Yeah, she's nervous. Ya know why? Because Tim was there today and his father was asleep the entire time. (Lord knows what he was doing there then. Perhaps she needs a garage built?) So you see, since Tim is the one who does EVERYTHING for his father, meds, bathroom, bathing, etc. she is nervous because she will have to GET UP AND HELP HIS FATHER BY HERSELF TONIGHT!!!!

So I was thinking, hmmmmm, who can I call to go out with. There isn't anyone, really. So I'm having myself a good 'ol fashioned pity party. Any cyber friends wanna join me?

I am just so fucking pissed right now, I don't even know where I'm going with this. I'm sorry.

I'll be back later when my head stops spinning..............